Let’s Talk About Negative Self-Talk: Taming Your Inner Critic

If you have an inner critic living rent free in your head, I’m sure that you know what that means before I even have to explain it. The inner critic is that loud, harsh, critical voice in your head that constantly highlights your insecurities and shortcomings in a way that triggers a sense of anxiety and shame. Instead of being able to learn from your mistakes, your inner critic convinces you that minor errors make you a massive failure. Your inner critic likely throws reason or logic out the window when it criticizes you, and it actively ignores the fact that you are in a life-long process of learning and growing. The inner critic lives to judge and critique you for everything you do that makes you an imperfect (and normal) human. 

Taming the inner critic is no easy feat, but here are some tips for getting a handle on that overly negative self-talk that the inner critic feeds you daily. 

● It’s difficult to address a problem if you don’t know what the problem is, so acknowledging the inner critic’s presence in your mind and paying attention to what your inner critic sounds like are good places to start. Maybe the inner critic is louder in social situations like when you’re talking to someone new, or maybe it weighs on you more when you make a mistake on a project at work. 

● Recognizing your inner critic’s patterns of negative self-talk can help you with challenging the critical thoughts. Questioning the negative messages that the inner critic feeds you daily and challenging the thoughts with evidence to the contrary can help you with replacing that negative self-talk with a more positive and realistic internal dialogue. 

● Practicing self-compassion is also a way to combat the inner critic’s negative messages. Try treating yourself with kindness and grace, just like you might treat a friend, and remind yourself that making mistakes is a natural part of learning and growing.

● Changing the way you view mistakes and failures can help you adapt a mindset that is more compassionate and understanding compared to the inner critic’s pessimistic, inconsiderate narrative. It might help to look at setbacks as opportunities for growth and self-improvement. 

● Setting more realistic expectations for yourself may help you avoid the inevitable disappointment that comes when you aren’t able to live up to the inner critic’s standards of perfection. If possible, try to avoid setting unattainable goals for yourself or holding yourself to unreasonable standards. 

● Having a positive support system of friends and family can be immensely helpful. However, if you’re looking for additional support or if your inner critic is severely affecting your wellbeing, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can offer support and guidance as you embark on this journey to tame your inner critic. You don’t have to go through it alone. 

Taming the inner critic is a process that requires time, patience, and practice. Be gentle with yourself as you set out to tackle the negative self-talk that has been weighing you down, and celebrate every win that comes along as you work towards developing a sense of self-compassion and self-acceptance.